So I sort of had this plan about getting through Canada's winter. The plan involved gin, so not a very healthy one. But, you know, you do what you have to. We'll see what the winter has in store for me and whether I will need to employ my gin-based survival plan. But if I do need to survive winter by drunkenness I have moved to the right place.
Apparently, Canadians love beer almost as much as they love hockey. In a commercial for an all-Canadian quiz show, the four things they use to define Canadians are: comedians, hockey-lovers, people who say sorry a lot, and beer drinkers. That's right, they are a nation of beer drinkers and proud of it.
Since I didn't start drinking until I was about 30 and because I started drinking in the land of the 3.2 beer, I don't really know how to drink. I am a lightweight. I like to drink shandies.
Now we are in Canada, where the beer is beer and you don't have to order food to go with it. Oh no. Let me just say that I have had to grab onto stair railings and I have walked crookedly out of several bars. After one pint. Staying partially drunk through the winter shouldn't be too hard.
And in other notes on behavior that may or may not be caused by alcohol or other substances: there is a guy in my new neighborhood who walks around repeating, "Terrorism. Child Abduction. Canada. Terror." And other things that I haven't yet figured out. The other day at the fry cart (yes, ottawa has french fry carts instead of taco carts) we met a kid who a) told us how awesome the italian sausages at that stand are b) showed us his dance moves 3) sang us a Squeeze song. (there are consequences to pot being decriminalized)
Woven Histories and Modern Abstractions
3 months ago
6 comments:
I predict that when you come back and visit, you'll drink us all under the table. You'll challenge us to a shots drinking contest and say as you lay waste to our weak 3.2 constitutions, "What? Are you all sissies, eh?"
Wow, I so appreciate this cultural tutorial. Dance moves *and* a Squeeze song? And fry carts? I'm moving there. Can I stay with you till I find my own place?
I was going to say, how can you complain about dance moves, oh dance movie maven? I would like to see his dance moves _especially_ at the fry cart.
I want to hear a drunken Canadian apologize. That's got to b the best!
Apropos, the dance move guy. He was sort of a sad case. There is a kickboxing place nearby, and I think he came from there by the look of his moves, and I don't think it was pot he was high on, but something from the bathtub drug variety that made him talk really fast and incessantly to everyone on the street.
But he was Canadian, so he was high as a kite but in a nice way.
lisa, you can totally stay with us when you move here. don't forget, we have raspberries (a fall crop is just ripening!)
I will try to drink you all under the table when I return. That will be my goal. It will give me purpose here.
Just follow the Winston Churchill regimen and you'll be a hardened drinker: start drinking around noon, take a nap, and then finish the bottle by 1 am.
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