Since my teaching career isn't going quite the way I'd planned, I have decided to be a freelance writer. Right now, it's just been a bunch of query-writing and sending. And self doubt, endless amounts of self doubt. I have often thought about trying to write for a living, but I have always been terrified of the whole prospect. What if my writing really sucks? What if I am a fraud? What if it's true what they say about teachers? It is only out of desperation and a realization that I have nothing to lose that I have decided to take on this adventure. But still, each time I click send on a query, I am certain that someone is out there laughing at me and pointing.
Despite my terror, things are going fairly well. I've had some positive response. No jobs yet, but I do have several strong leads that should (cross your fingers) work out.
Yesterday, I heard back from the editor of a local food magazine. In her message, she said that I should call her to "blah blah" about some ideas. I was excited about the reply, but thought the "blah blah" comment was a little weird.
Well, today I copied the message to that editor in order to refashion it into a query for another editor. And there, in the message, was this sentence: " I look forward to blah blah" Yes, that's right, those little notes that I make to myself to indicate where I need to add/ clarify? Still there.
I am both mortified and amazed. I mean, the query worked right? So maybe I need to worry less about the laughing and the pointing and just say whatever the hell I feel like. Really, I am the queen of worrying about what I say and whether it annoys, embarrasses, offends, etc. In new contexts, I can hardly speak for the worry.
Perhaps this is a lesson that I just need to get over it. blah blah, baby, blah blah
Woven Histories and Modern Abstractions
3 months ago
10 comments:
I'm feeling slightly less bad about the time on my blog that I said 1/3 is less than a 1/4. This editor seems very cool and blah blah blah.
Ha! Perfect. Maybe we can thank Seinfeld for making blah blah blah, another version of yaddah yaddah yaddah, acceptable.
I envy your freelance career. I'm still trying to write a werewolf novel.
I wish.
Good luck freelancing. My hope is that you will someday secure a powerful position as editor and then publish all of us.
See how appealing the prospect of working with you is ? You probably seemed impossibly cool to her. Very exciting, this freelancing idea. Good luck!
We are all frauds so don't worry about that. When you make it as a writer, you can email Pres. Bio. and thank her for changing the direction of your life.
Hah perhaps she thought you were being honest about the idiocy of formalities. You're probably strong in her "hip" corner and will get an unending amount of work writing pithy pieces about food.
Yes, I'm afraid I sent a false message of "hip" and she's totally going to be disappointed in my lameness. Oh well. If this doesn't work out, I'll just steal lynn's idea for the werewolf novel. I'm going to call it Teen Wolf Too: Electric Boogaloo.
I completely get the obsessing over how what you say will be received, interpreted, taken out of context, etc. I am the same way. Good luck on your writing...I'm sure you're going to be a success! (Found your blog on Jill's, by the way. Don't know if I've commented before, but it's great to see that you're surviving - and even thriving - in the cold, cold north!)
Oh yes, the joys of fake cool. I think the blah blah is priceless. I sincerely hope that this becomes your funny story about when you really got started... Love you lady! Good luck!
We miss you. I'm very sorry you have to be a casualty of the current economic nightmare. I do believe you can make it as a writer. Don't fire your editor just yet.
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