Drunk in Canada

So I sort of had this plan about getting through Canada's winter. The plan involved gin, so not a very healthy one. But, you know, you do what you have to. We'll see what the winter has in store for me and whether I will need to employ my gin-based survival plan. But if I do need to survive winter by drunkenness I have moved to the right place.

Apparently, Canadians love beer almost as much as they love hockey. In a commercial for an all-Canadian quiz show, the four things they use to define Canadians are: comedians, hockey-lovers, people who say sorry a lot, and beer drinkers. That's right, they are a nation of beer drinkers and proud of it.

Since I didn't start drinking until I was about 30 and because I started drinking in the land of the 3.2 beer, I don't really know how to drink. I am a lightweight. I like to drink shandies.

Now we are in Canada, where the beer is beer and you don't have to order food to go with it. Oh no. Let me just say that I have had to grab onto stair railings and I have walked crookedly out of several bars. After one pint. Staying partially drunk through the winter shouldn't be too hard.

And in other notes on behavior that may or may not be caused by alcohol or other substances: there is a guy in my new neighborhood who walks around repeating, "Terrorism. Child Abduction. Canada. Terror." And other things that I haven't yet figured out. The other day at the fry cart (yes, ottawa has french fry carts instead of taco carts) we met a kid who a) told us how awesome the italian sausages at that stand are b) showed us his dance moves 3) sang us a Squeeze song. (there are consequences to pot being decriminalized)