do I need to fire my editor?

Since my teaching career isn't going quite the way I'd planned, I have decided to be a freelance writer. Right now, it's just been a bunch of query-writing and sending. And self doubt, endless amounts of self doubt. I have often thought about trying to write for a living, but I have always been terrified of the whole prospect. What if my writing really sucks? What if I am a fraud? What if it's true what they say about teachers? It is only out of desperation and a realization that I have nothing to lose that I have decided to take on this adventure. But still, each time I click send on a query, I am certain that someone is out there laughing at me and pointing.

Despite my terror, things are going fairly well. I've had some positive response. No jobs yet, but I do have several strong leads that should (cross your fingers) work out.

Yesterday, I heard back from the editor of a local food magazine. In her message, she said that I should call her to "blah blah" about some ideas. I was excited about the reply, but thought the "blah blah" comment was a little weird.

Well, today I copied the message to that editor in order to refashion it into a query for another editor. And there, in the message, was this sentence: " I look forward to blah blah" Yes, that's right, those little notes that I make to myself to indicate where I need to add/ clarify? Still there.

I am both mortified and amazed. I mean, the query worked right? So maybe I need to worry less about the laughing and the pointing and just say whatever the hell I feel like. Really, I am the queen of worrying about what I say and whether it annoys, embarrasses, offends, etc. In new contexts, I can hardly speak for the worry.

Perhaps this is a lesson that I just need to get over it. blah blah, baby, blah blah